Thursday, September 2, 2010

Meet Our Newest Dinosaur

We are sad to say goodbye to Natalie Bradshaw, who has evolved onto the Cretaceous Period without us. She made us laugh, cry, and question our sexualities. Actually we're not sad. Natalie was the worst.

Fortunately, we have a new T-Rex-2 who is just as committed to the role, and was also recently committed to an institution. Now she's back and better than ever, ready to show us what a gender identity crisis is all about. Claire Neumann is not your average post-op M 2 F, Claire is a National Bird-Calling Champion and some might say her Scrabble skills are some to be reckoned with. I would not say that. Her usually sassy dance moves may be slowed down because of the athlete's foot, but she's still faster than Mary-Ellen. The warts are healing, the sinus congestion is clearing, and the songs twill be sung.

Claire, we're happy to have you.

Come cheer Claire on Encore opening night September 9th at 7pm.
Tickets are on sale now at

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Awards and Encores and Praises and Tears

Jurassic Parq The Broadway Musical is extending his run as part of the FringeNYC Encore Series!! Come see us at The Lucille Lortel Theatre!!

9/9 @ 7:00

9/11 @ 10:30

9/17 @ 9:30

9/18 @ 10:30

but wait... there's more!

Jurassic Parq recieved the Fringe Festival"Overall Excellence Award for a Musical Production"


Friday, August 27, 2010

Grade D= Destiny

AT LAST! Someone has spoken the Truth. We at Jurassic Parq hate our show, and at last someone has seen the show for what it truly is. Did you think we wanted to write this piece? We are merely slaves to Destiny.

Who needs legitimate publications to rave about how hilarious, creative, and perpexlingly meaningful we are? The Wall Street Journal, Backstage, Theatermania,,,, The Happiest Medium, Nitelife Exchange, BOO for saying such positive things about Jurassic Parq!

Don’t believe these:

"Not since “Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead” has there been such a playful re-imagining as “Jurassic Parq: The Broadway Musical.” -Backstage

It’s royally entertaining, eliciting loud guffaws, cheers, howls of appreciation… I think we have a hit."Nitelife Exchange

"When the ensemble sings their final number, the comedy is immaculate, the music soars, and the audience is satisfied. Jurassic Parq is one of the best musicals in the Fringe, and perfectly suited to the festival's tone." –Theatre Is Easy

"I would love to see what could be done with it on a Broadway budget. I can whole heartedly admit that this is the most fun I've ever had at a Fringe show." -

Everyone true New Yorker knows that the real truth can be found at StageRush has given us a Grade D and we applaud them for their bravery to oppose dozens of other reviewers and the ability to stand out from their pack with their Truths.

Please read these horribly negative quotes that have given us a Grade D and decide for yourself:

“Jurassic Parq: The Broadway Musical takes the creative license allotted by the New York Fringe Festival and rolls around in it like a pig in the mud on ecstasy.”

“A lovingly bizarre homage to the blockbuster novel”

Kind of like a Wicked for prehistoric creatures

Kind of like a Spring Awakening for gigantic reptiles

The production is charming and nostalgic, if not healthily quirky.”

A smart and successful moment… is the final number, 'We Are Dinosaurs' ”

It did have its sold-out theater laughing most of the time.

An incredibly energetic and engaging cast.”

Brandon Espinoza is a physical virtuoso as Mime-asaurus”

“Lee Seymour performs Morgan Freeman (or is it Samuel L. Jackson?) with hilarious deadpan.

"The cast performs Kyle Mullins’ choreography fantastically, executing the jazz moves with sharpness and spark.”

Play: D”

P.S. a D is for Suck Mary-Ellen's Dick.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Kind Words and New Lawsuits has posted an amazing review of Jurassic Parq!

"Writers Emma Barash, Stephen Wargo, Bryce Norbitz, and Marshall Pailet have created something really amazing here and I would love to see what could be done with it on a Broadway budget. I can whole heartedly admit that this is the most fun I've ever had at a Fringe show. I laughed for almost the entire performance and so did my theatre-going companions. Go see it and have your funny bone tickled and your faith challenged. You won't be sorry you did."
Click here to read

Since posted- we have been the most popular Fringe show on the website:


  1. Jurassic Parq: The Broadway Musical
  2. Faster Than The Speed Of White
  3. 3Boys
  4. 12 Incompetent Men (And Women!)
  5. Flesh-Light Stories
  6. Invader? I Hardly Know Her
  7. All Day Suckers
  8. Playing By Air
  9. When Last We Flew
  10. Made In Taiwan

Now for the bad news. We WERE the most popular story on that website... until today:


We know that Betty White has her shctick down pretty well, but we have one major weapon against her.

Our dear Velociraptor of Science:

SHE'S PLAYED DOLLY 13 TIMES! She's a legend, people.

Watch out Betty White. You're next on our list of people to sue.

Sunday, August 22, 2010 names Jurassic Parq: The Broadway Musical a "Critics Pick"!

Having Destiny as our guide and muse, it is no news to us but may be news to you to hear that Backstage has named Jurassic Parq: The Broadway Musical a Critics Pick! Read the rave review here.

We do, however, have one bone to pick with Backstage for their implication that "Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead" is equally funny or, indeed, funnier than JP:TBW. It is not.

Three more chances to see Jurassic Parq
Tonight at 6:15pm (RUN!!!!)
Wednesday at 7:45pm
Friday at 4:00pm

See you there. and Tom Stoppard we're suing you when we're done suing Steven Spielberg.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Thursday, August 19, 2010


7pm at The Ellen Stewart Theatre at La MaMa

Everyone who attends the show is invited to the after party at Dempsey's, 61 Second Ave between e. 3rd and e. 4th! Can't wait to see everyone there.

Tonight is a monumental evening. Because it is the eve of the monumental opening night performance. Which is the most monumental event involving dinosaurs to happen since the ice age destroyed them. BE THERE!

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

A Response To A Fan

We, the Jurassic Parq writers, have come under some scrutiny this week. Please read this comment from fan Doc Nein from

“Here I shall summon the words of Ian Malcolm.

"You were so preoccupied with whether or not you could do this, you didn't stop to think if you should."

That said, you've got a number of embarrassing errors on your website that prove you simply shouldn't be doing this.

We'll begin with that interview about "Casting the role of Morgan Freeman." Funny, I don't think he's in Jurassic Park. Perhaps you're thinking of Samuel L. Jackson?

Next is your reference to the "raptor poison contact lenses" Really? Have you guys even seen the movie? I'll take that as a No, since you also reference "that white haired science man" who is not a scientist at all, but a really zany billionaire. And his name is John Hammond. I knew that when I was eight.

Raptors don't spit venom, dilophosauruses do.

When I heard that there'd be a Jurassic Park musical, I thought it would be a joke; when I read about Jurassic Parq's synopsis (really, the Q is necessary?) I REALLY thought it was a joke.

The dinosaurs didn't switch sexes and have a resulting gender crisis. They bred and devoured things, so that life could continue in its inevitably vicious cycle; that's the point of the movie, that life will find a way, by whatever means necessary. Don't turn the one franchise I hold sacred into a vehicle for some annoying political agenda. Hell, I'm gay, but I don't expect my dinosaurs to be.

My dinosaurs eat people. They don't sing.”

Wow. We are shocked, saddened, and impassioned by this comment. We’d like to thank DocNein for reminding us why we are telling this story: TO BRING THE TRUTH TO LIGHT. We will not shy away from our Destiny, and on opening night this Friday at 7pm, the Truth of Jurassic ParQ will be revealed.